An Explanation at Last (Copyright 2011 by Maureen Shea)

An FB friend put as her status that the object of the game was for all her FB friends to respond with a completely fabricated story of how we met. As I read the responses, one of them was brilliant, and I was reluctant to try because I didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything good. I don't mean to toot my own horn (oh who am I kidding, of course I do), but here's what I wrote:

I awakened in pain, with bright lights blinding me, strange noises all around, and no knowledge of where I was or how I had gotten there. I realized I was strapped in on a cold table, and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw there were 2 figures on each side of me, gesticulating wildly. When my vision cleared, I realized they were each holding what appeared to be medical instruments...but worse...they weren't human. I screamed, and they turned toward me in surprise, and adjusted something strapped to my arm. I felt as though I were falling...then nothing.

When I awoke, I was in a small clearing with several others. We were all dazed, then began frantically asking each other if they knew what was going on. I was crying and you came to reassure me. You introduced myself and told me not to worry, that it had happened to you several times and everything would be fine. We began to share our experiences, and the pandemonium around us settled as people began realizing that they weren't alone in their experience, and it seemed to be over.

As the talk quieted down, we heard one man mumbling incoherently to himself. We approached him to see if we could help, but we couldn't seem to get through to him. He was extremely paranoid, and thought we were part of some conspiracy or another, but we couldn't make sense of what he was saying. He wouldn't come with us, and since we were hungry, tired, and disoriented, the group decided we had to leave him there, hoping we'd be able to send help once we found civilization.
When we stumbled into a small town, we tried to get help from the local Sheriff, but it became increasingly clear that he was getting ready to call the men in the white coats. We somehow all knew when to stop trying to convince him, and you came up with the cover story that we had been to a party, and suspected someone must have put something in our drinks.

You and I became close friends, and, as far as we knew, we weren't abducted again. One night you invited me for dinner, and turned on the TV in the kitchen as you were cooking. "Quick! Come here!" you exclaimed, and when I went into the kitchen I saw you agape, pointing speechlessly at the TV. It was the man we had left behind! At first we were relieved, because we had always felt guilty about not being able to send a rescue party. As we listened, we realized he was just as incoherent as we had left him...yet appeared to have his own TV show! I think you readers can guess what happened next: our national nightmare, The Glenn Beck show, had begun.

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